Welcome… first time and returning parents to All Star Early Learners.
Here at All Star, we offer you a safe and holistic learning space for you to drop off and leave your child with complete strangers for the first time… ever… like ever since they were born and left your body…
We have put together a comprehensive checklist for parents to help them prepare for your child’s first day, particularly those parents who are struggling to let go and can’t possibly fathom that another human being could competently look after your child.
- Write their name on EVERYTHING. Write it on their nappies, in bold font. First, middle and last name just incase there is another Harrison Robert Woodlands attending this centre and just to be sure, HRW on the front. You can’t be too careful.
- If they say pack 4 nappies, pack 10… If they say don’t forget his sippy cup, make sure it’s the cleanest, best, biggest, most obvious god damn sippy cup the world has ever seen, because the idea of your child going thirsty without anyone knowing is just… unacceptable. And write his name on it, and add a name sticker just to be sure.
- Initiate a little push and shove at home just to see how your child will respond should he get pushed and shoved whilst out in the unknown territory of the playground. Teaching them to snatch and grab toys from you won’t go astray either.
- When the educators say, ‘drop and go’ AFTER saying goodbye to your child, what they really mean is ‘drop and run’, muttering a mumbled goodbye before you scurry off, because if that kid cries while your there, YOU ARE IN DEEP S@*t.
- Feel free to sit in your car, crying hysterically, calling your mother and your husband as you watch your happy child play through the gates for 45 minutes after you have dropped him off. Don’t be ashamed when the Centre Manager comes out and asks ‘Are you ok? He will be fine’.
- Purchase an abundance of coloured macaroons for the child to snack on once you have picked them up at the end of the day. When you arrive for pick up, that child will refuse to acknowledge you in any form and will only go to dad, as he remembers that you where the ass hole parent that dropped him there at the beginning of the day. Once he has demolished 6 of them, and has been lovingly coaxed by his dad to say ‘ love you mummy’… he will come around…
Love you my boy.Welcome to the big bad world.Lets hope they are ready for you 🙂
Tip one: Don’t worry about what your friends think.
Tip two: Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romance, it’s about showing the people in you life that you love them. This includes a nice card or phone call to your nana’s.
Tip three: If you buy a last minute card from 7-11 and some bullshit chocolates, there’s nothing wrong with that but she will know.
Tip four: Thoughtfulness, sentiment and memories go along way, a lot further than money.
Tip five: Valentine’s Day changes as you get older. Grandiose gestures are a young man’s game so make sure you have a go.
Tip six: Women love romance, if she says Valentine’s Day is a waste of time or money, she is probably fibbing. Everybody needs and wants to feel loved.
Tip seven: Unrequited love is horrible, but having loved and lost is better than never loving at all. Don’t be scared. If she says no, you can live with mummy forever ❤️❤️❤️ as long as you pay board and clean up after yourself X
Love you my darling, cannot believe you are 18 months old in 4 days xxx
See this gorgeous little thing…. This beautiful little cheeky Angel… He is amazing… Take a good look, but don’t get too close… Or he will slap the crap out of you, laugh his little ass off and proudly walk away.
You see, my boy is now 15 months old, and he rules our little world. Harrison does what he wants to do when he wants to do it. But we wouldn’t have it any other way… As his slaps are slowly becoming bites…
He is my big hearted little koala baby, very much mummies boy at the moment….with Daddy’s little facials, and Denis the Menace’s tendency to innocently break most things he comes into contact with.
He is exhausting…And I’m loving every minute 😊 xxxx
Love you baby xxx
Your daddy and I have just ran the most amazing marathon…. Well that’s how it feels.
We have seen things running this marathon that we could never of imagined. Some of it we don’t remember being in a haze of exhaustion… And some, the most beautiful sights a human being could imagine…
Everything about us has changed. Our relationship, our friendships, our beliefs, our priorities and our view on life.
Luckily for us we had the most fabulous cheer squad on our sideline, who advised us, supported us and cheered us on. Some of them even ran parts of the marathon for us so that we could have a rest.
And my darling, it’s only now, tonight, the eve of your first birthday, that I realize it’s not a marathon at all…
We are living a life all over again, through the eyes of a beautiful boy. A boy that has parts of me, and parts of the man I love more than anything… And he is the most perfect thing.
You are my heart, my love, my everything.
Happy birthday my sweetheart x
Today my dear boy…
FINALLY…. FINALLY… You met your baby cousin Stella Grace. She is 4 weeks old today… It took us 4 weeks for you both to be awake enough and well enough to meet each other properly 🙂
So of course, Nana, your Mumma and your Aunty Lauren were pretty pumped….
You and Stella however… Were not very pumped.
But we didn’t care 🙂
I’m sure by the time you read this, you’ll have her back and she will have yours… Unlike today when you grabbed her baby arm in excitement and shoved her in the back when nanna sat her on your lap.
That was a little awkward for us all… But we persisted… (note: Nanna pinning your arms down in this pic).
Love you both very much xxxx
Life lesson: Family is the most important thing in the world – Princess Diana
My dear Harry,
I hope this photo stays true forever.
I hope your days are filled with light, and warmth and sun.
I hope you’re taking in new and wonderful sights and sounds and feelings.
I hope you will always look forward in anticipation and excitement … And never look back.
I hope I’m always close enough to help you if you need it but far enough to sometimes let you go.
I hope I’m around to enjoy your life’s journey with you.
I hope I’m there to watch dad help you, like Grandad helped us today.
I hope dad keeps mowing our lawn 😉 and we can always sit and enjoy watching him. Together.
To my dearest Harrison,
Tonight is our last night in our apartment home.
This is the first home your dad and I ever bought.
It was the home we came back to as a married couple.
The home where we prepared for our first baby… And of course your first home, the day we picked you up from the adoption agency…
Ha ha just kidding…
I’m going to miss this home. Your going away present to us tonight was your first official commando crawl = greater than a shuffle, but not quite a crawl… Should call it a shawl… 🙂
We can’t wait to watch you grow in this house, run around in its backyard… And eventually pick up a full time job to help us pay for it… Don’t you worry I’m keeping a tab…
Love you darling… Goodbye first house… Don’t grow up too fast my love…
What I love most about my home is who I share it with- Tad Carpenter