Harrison has a girlfriend…

Today I walked into daycare and saw you sulking on a little chair all by yourself.

I panicked and scurried over to you, kneeling down so that I could look into your little face…

What’s wrong bubba?

His teacher chirped into our conversation stating… ‘He’s sad because his girlfriend was just picked up by her parents’…

I smiled politely and walked you over to your school bag thinking to myself… I doubt it lady…

I packed you up into the car and you said… ‘Mumma, GiGi goonneee…. saaadddddd.

WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!…. Who is this Witchy Woman!!!! 

It’s the beginning of the end…

Checklist… what to bring for your child’s first day at day care…

Welcome… first time and returning parents to All Star Early Learners.

Here at All Star, we offer you a safe and holistic learning space for you to drop off and leave your child with complete strangers for the first time… ever… like ever since they were born and left your body…

We have put together a comprehensive checklist for parents to help them prepare for your child’s first day, particularly those parents who are struggling to let go and can’t possibly fathom that another human being could competently look after your child.

  1. Write their name on EVERYTHING. Write it on their nappies, in bold font. First, middle and last name just incase there is another Harrison Robert Woodlands attending this centre and just to be sure, HRW on the front. You can’t be too careful.
  2. If they say pack 4 nappies, pack 10… If they say don’t forget his sippy cup, make sure it’s the cleanest, best, biggest, most obvious god damn sippy cup the world has ever seen, because the idea of your child going thirsty without anyone knowing is just… unacceptable. And write his name on it, and add a name sticker just to be sure.
  3. Initiate a little push and shove at home just to see how your child will respond should he get pushed and shoved whilst out in the unknown territory of the playground. Teaching them to snatch and grab toys from you won’t go astray either.
  4. When the educators say, ‘drop and go’ AFTER saying goodbye to your child, what they really mean is ‘drop and run’, muttering a mumbled goodbye before you scurry off, because if that kid cries while your there, YOU ARE IN DEEP S@*t.
  5. Feel free to sit in your car, crying hysterically, calling your mother and your husband as you watch your happy child play through the gates for 45 minutes after you have dropped him off. Don’t be ashamed when the Centre Manager comes out and asks ‘Are you ok? He will be fine’.
  6. Purchase an abundance of coloured macaroons for the child to snack on once you have picked them up at the end of the day. When you arrive for pick up, that child will refuse to acknowledge you in any form and will only go to dad, as he remembers that you where the ass hole parent that dropped him there at the beginning of the day.  Once he has demolished 6 of them, and has been lovingly coaxed by his dad to say ‘ love you mummy’… he will come around…

 

Love you my boy.Welcome to the big bad world.Lets hope they are ready for you 🙂

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Harrison’s first potty poo… 

Today my little love nugget left his own little nugget in his potty.

After a few weeks of adamantly stating NO to potty time, and 45 minutes of potty time today involving cashew eating, IPad playing and you willy flipping…you did it!

And you proudly said to me, mumma I did poo poo… stood over it, pointed at it, squatted near it to get a closer look…

I took a picture of the poo to show dad when he got home…he won’t let me post it though and is making me delete it as we speak. What a party pooper…. ha ha ha pun intended.
Something tells me toilet training may take awhile… might be another bog blog entry in the not too distant future… 😉

You are the best kid, you make life so much more fun and all of your ‘firsts’and little victories feel like our own xxx


Love you little man x

Harrison turns 2… 

My beautiful son, three days ago you turned two. We had a lovely day at Monkey Mania with daddy in the afternoon. You ran around like a crazy person for hours… 


Where does the time go…
You also told the coffee lady that you were tawentie when she asked how old you were… And everyone else there after just to give us all a good laugh… 
Where does the time go…


Yesterday our closest family and friends met at our local park for afternoon tea to celebrate you and to celebrate life. Birthdays are a wonderful thing. They allow for you to reconnect with the people you care about the most and for those people to stop and reflect on how much better their life is with you in it, just like we did yesterday. I can’t remember life before you… Perhaps because the true purpose for my existence started the day you were born…


Where does the time go…


Love you my little man xxx 
Happy birthday my darling boy xxx 

Harrison does Hawaii

You are 19 months old, sitting next to dad, and you seem so content and happy.. We are 15 minutes in to a 9.5 hour flight to Hawaii. 
I began to panic..

What the hell were we thinking… Taking a baby on an effing aero plane !?!? To be fair you were a very good boy, minimal sooking, slept for 5 hours and didn’t pop on the plane…

And once we had arrived, it was definitely worth it 🙂


You’re off to great places, today is your day, your mountain is waiting, so… Get on your way-Dr Seuss 💙

Ps, the flight home was a different story…let’s never speak of it again…Love you baby xxx

Valentine’s Day tips for my 21year old son

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Tip one: Don’t worry about what your friends think. 

Tip two: Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romance, it’s about showing the people in you life that you love them. This includes a nice card or phone call to your nana’s.

Tip three: If you buy a last minute card from 7-11 and some bullshit chocolates, there’s nothing wrong with that but she will know.

Tip four: Thoughtfulness, sentiment and memories go along way, a lot further than money.

Tip five: Valentine’s Day changes as you get older. Grandiose gestures are a young man’s game so make sure you have a go. 

Tip six: Women love romance, if she says Valentine’s Day is a waste of time or money, she is probably fibbing. Everybody needs and wants to feel loved.

Tip seven: Unrequited love is horrible, but having loved and lost is better than never loving at all. Don’t be scared. If she says no, you can live with mummy forever ❤️❤️❤️ as long as you pay board and clean up after yourself X 
Love you my darling, cannot believe you are 18 months old in 4 days xxx 

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He talks… He walks….. He slaps


See this gorgeous little thing…. This beautiful little cheeky Angel… He is amazing… Take a good look, but don’t get too close… Or he will slap the crap out of you, laugh his little ass off and proudly walk away.

You see, my boy is now 15 months old, and he rules our little world. Harrison does what he wants to do when he wants to do it. But we wouldn’t have it any other way… As his slaps are slowly becoming bites…

 

He is my big hearted little koala baby, very much mummies boy at the moment….with Daddy’s little facials, and Denis the Menace’s tendency to innocently break most things he comes into contact with.

He is exhausting…And I’m loving every minute 😊 xxxx

Love you baby xxx